Essay 1 and 2 feedback

1. There are some good arguments and good references here. Your tone is slightly aggressive in areas which should be avoided since it would suggest that your essay is less than objective. Simply explore what has been said by writers on the topic..no judgement. Also, there is a lot of literature on celebrity studies in academia...there may be some more pertinent texts on this matter.

2. Like the previous piece, I would try to address your overall tone slightly. Also, your choice of images doesn't provide the best opportunities for analysis. One of the Beyonce adverts is certainly a good choice but I suggest more variety in the others. Also, the Kruger image doesn't reference celebrity so may not be suitable.

The way I have referenced my essays need to be changed, don't include numbers. Over easter I will go back over this essay and look at the points made in the feedback and hopefully edit the essay to make it slightly better than the first draft. However, I'm not sure if I agree with the fact my choice of images don't provide any room for analysis because I chose them with reason and in relation to my first essay.