Essay 1 and 2 feedback

1. There are some good arguments and good references here. Your tone is slightly aggressive in areas which should be avoided since it would suggest that your essay is less than objective. Simply explore what has been said by writers on the topic..no judgement. Also, there is a lot of literature on celebrity studies in academia...there may be some more pertinent texts on this matter.

2. Like the previous piece, I would try to address your overall tone slightly. Also, your choice of images doesn't provide the best opportunities for analysis. One of the Beyonce adverts is certainly a good choice but I suggest more variety in the others. Also, the Kruger image doesn't reference celebrity so may not be suitable.

The way I have referenced my essays need to be changed, don't include numbers. Over easter I will go back over this essay and look at the points made in the feedback and hopefully edit the essay to make it slightly better than the first draft. However, I'm not sure if I agree with the fact my choice of images don't provide any room for analysis because I chose them with reason and in relation to my first essay.

Study Task 07 - SB2 - Pitching your ides / further developments

While this was only a short study task to complete, I found it very useful in terms of knowing which direction to take my project to next as at that moment in time I was not 100% sure how I would create my final outcome. I presented my prototypes to a small group and I was very pleased with the feedback I received as it was very useful for how to develop the brief.

These are the key points I received back:

• Create a set of posters maybe 3 as a collective
• Try using various other animals instead of the gorilla 
• Create an advert opposite to what Pepsi want it to look like (negative)
• Try to think of slogans 
• Maybe try Beyonce's head on the gorilla (could be offensive but would create shock and a discussion)
• Try collaging onto stills from Beyonce's music videos 

The feedback points and ideas I got from this small group critique were very useful, the point that excited me most was using stills from Beyonce's music videos I thought this may be a very interesting thing to experiment with. Using the same techniques as the gorilla girls, and overlaying similar text I put on my prototypes I would collage over some of her music video stills.